Long John Alien Books

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Alien mayhem on Christmas Eve!
(Alien Christmas Carols Included)

COMPLETE WITH THREE ALIEN CHRISTMAS CAROLS!

  1. "My Pants Are Too Tight" (Sung to "Silent Night")

  2. "Santa Claus Is Beating Me Up" (Sung to "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town")

  3. "We Wish You Some Hairy Fishsticks"

 

What's Christmas for pirates with no place to plunder?

Long John Alien is depressed on the dark side of Mars. It's Christmas Eve and Long John has no famous good guys to fight. Suddenly a red glow covers the Earth, and one of his fellow pirates tells Long John about Santa and Santa's ability to deliver toys to every child on Planet Earth in one night. For Long John Alien this is just the sort of challenge he needed. It's a fight! Off they fly in their spaceship to pick a fight with Santa and to plunder an Earth home, and plunder it hard!

Written in verse, with a brief appearance by The Grinch, this Christmas story is fun to share with children.

Long John Alien is back, and so is his Christmas malaise, so Long John and his piratey gang are spoiling for some Christmas pillaging and plundering.

Long John gets a report that Earth homes are now guarded by huge, glowing beasts, and this report promises just the fight Long John needs. So off he and his shipmates fly, sputtering and coughing, to go best these huge glow-beasts in battle. Instead of a glorious fight, our pirates find the glow-beasts already dead, shrunken and shriveled on the Earth homes' front yards.
Just who was big and bad enough to do such a thing is soon answered by the Space Hardware man—it must be COVID!
Now Long John has COVID in his sights!

Written in verse.